I'll Always Come Home
by quantumparadigm
Summary: Super minor DLC spoilers concerning Aria and renegade Shepard, but it's the only spoiler (and it's super minor and has nothing to do with the plot whatsoever). The events of this story are the consequences to that one little thing that happens and Kaidan decides to exact 'revenge' on Shepard for her grievances. Pure fluff, no plot. You've been warned. Shenko.


**Opening Author's Notes**:

Got grabbed by one of those smut ideas after playing the Omega DLC. You know those ideas that wiggle their way deep inside the brain, murmuring incessantly until you write them? Since I'm incredibly weak-willed when it comes to writing Shenko, here we are. ;)

You know the drill: button, X, up there, been warned, etc.

Rate M for: minor swearing and some tasteful, teasing fluff.

Debuting one of my three main Shepard's, Myka, for this one: earthborn, soldier, paragade that leans towards the renegade but is still pretty good.

-quantum

PS: Memories / Never Surrender should resume regular posting now that NaNoWriMo is done and I got this out of my system.

-M-

**I'll Always Come Home**

-M-

Vega and Joker were terrible at deceit. Poker was more their thing. Bluffing. _Bluffing _was strategic lying, and both of them had tells that inevitably gave them away. Joker was better at it, but when the pressure was on and the pot was full, his fingers would inevitably twitch towards the brim of his hat, scraping along the edge just so. Vega was more like the puppy who did something bad and ran straight to his owner, tail between his legs. Of course, Vega didn't have a tail, nor did he tattle himself to Shepard for each lie/bluff committed, but considering his poker streak, he might win more if he did.

So when Kaidan caught the both of them in the cockpit, snickering with the occasional backward glance, he knew they were hiding something. Judging by the furiously closed displays and vehement shushes as he walked up the gangplank towards them, they were hiding something from _him_.

He was already a little on edge from Shepard's two day absence. The _Normandy_ just felt barren without her prowling the decks, barking orders in the CIC, and selecting their destinations at the galaxy map.

The bed certainly felt emptier without her. And a hell of a lot bigger.

It also felt weird to occupy the Captain's cabin when the captain wasn't even aboard ship. The stubborn streak in him refused to let him bow beneath the social pressure. Shepard would _surely_ hear of it within five seconds of being back if he slept anywhere but their room. Even if it was technically her room, and Alliance regs said he had no business sleeping there.

Spectre regs were silent on the matter.

So obviously, they'd chosen Spectre regs. _"Two Spectres means it's doubly alright, right?"_ she'd asked him. His answering reply had been a kiss that set her knees trembling as she dug her nails into the thick fabric of his clothing, attempting to pierce through to the skin.

She'd almost succeeded.

The clothes didn't stay on long enough for her to rigorously test the hypothesis.

"Dude, close that window!"

"I am!"

"He's almost here!"

"He," Kaidan interjected as he fully entered the cockpit, "is right behind you."

He didn't doubt for a second that the two men in front of him wanted to be caught at whatever mischief they were up to, which meant that it (most likely) wasn't related to anything pertinent to running the ship. If they _hadn't_ wanted to be caught with figurative red-hands, they wouldn't have taken the time to reprogram the cockpit door to stay open.

Now he understood why he'd seen Vega leaning against the frame with his omni-tool out, tongue poked between his teeth as he undoubtedly listened to and attempted to correctly follow Joker's instructions.

The only real question was whether or not Kaidan wanted to play along. "Any word on Shepard's ETA?"

"Got a transmission from one of Aria's-" Vega snickered from the co-pilot's chair, "- men, Bray. Said they should be here in about thirty minutes. They just cleared the relay."

"Which docking bay?"

"Don't know yet," Joker replied, sweeping a display sideways to bring up the Citadel traffic logs. "Civilian transports are assigned as needed. Don't have reserved bays."

"Mmm, okay," Kaidan answered. "Thirty minutes then?"

"Yup," Vega leaned back in his chair, extending his arms above his head. "You catch the latest broadcasts, Major?"

Kaidan shook his head, aware that Vega was watching him out of the corner of his eye. Whether the headshake was his answer or simply a reaction to the _very_ casual way the Lieutenant had framed the question was up for debate. Definitely the first one. He wasn't so sure about the second.

Well, probably that one, too.

"I think we'd know if he caught the latest broadcast, man."

"Hello, Major," EDI greeted him as she entered the cockpit. The small space sat on the cusp of crossing into the realm of 'overcrowded'. On the old _Normandy_, it would have been. "My processes have detected an override preventing the cockpit door from closing properly. That v-"

"Violates half a dozen safety regulations, blah blah," Joker waved his hand dismissively in the air. "We're done with it anyway."

Vega vacated the copilot's chair as EDI approached it. Military stations were one thing marines never balked about. Shit had to be done, ships had to be maintained.

The fact that EDI wasn't a marine and _was_ the ship in a very real sense didn't seem to matter to the crew. She was as much one of them as anyone.

"What was the purpose of overriding the mechanism?" EDI inquired as she slid into the seat.

Joker and Vega exchanged a quick glance, pointedly not looking at him, before Vega shrugged and Joker replied, "To entice the Major."

"I believe Major Alenko is spoken for."

There it was. EDI's subtly dry and overly-literate sense of humor that always managed to bring a shining light of hope and warmth even when he was feeling on edge. He could swear she'd perfected the 'sparkling eye' that typically accompanied her jokes.

Joker simply shook his head, probably aware that he was partially responsible for the development of EDI's humor.

Vega was eyeing Kaidan sideways, a doofy _I-know-something-you-don't-know_ smirk plastered all over his face despite the rather poor attempt to suppress it.

And he wondered why it was so easy to clean him out. It practically counted as theft at this point.

Still didn't stop Alenko from playing with him anyway. _Someone _had to write field reports, and Vega never seemed to learn. Or didn't care. Or maybe believed that the next time, things would be different.

"Lieutenants," Alenko said. The two shared a quick look but Kaidan exited before they could say anything damning. It was probably bad that he took pleasure in depriving them of their glee.

Despite his resistance to succumbing to Joker and Vega's obvious plan to get him to watch whatever was in the latest broadcast that they had _clearly_ and _desperately_ wanted him to watch, now that Kaidan was free from their scrutiny and boyish impatience, he found himself ambling towards Shepard's terminal at the galaxy map. He ran his fingers across the smooth surface of the ledge, idly tapping out a beat with no real rhythmic meaning other than to express his curiosity.

Many years of knowing Joker meant he already had a few vague notions about what kind of media broadcast would have him wound up as tight as coil. The last time he'd been keen on getting Kaidan to watch something, it'd been a vid of Shepard getting into a good-natured brawl with a krogan. Human audiences had been shocked while Shepard's approval rating with the krogans had skyrocketed.

It didn't surprise him that she knew how to speak krogan.

It was just who she was.

It was also why he wasn't surprised she knew how to speak Aria, because the asari pirate queen had a fair bit in common with the krogan in terms of ruthlessness and bravado. He also wasn't surprised at the friendly banter the two had exchanged shortly before departing on the somewhat idiotic (in his estimations, though Shepard's reasoning had certainly been anything but idiotic because, frankly, Omega was a significant powerhouse that Cerberus certainly didn't need) mission to retake Omega. If casually flinging insults tempered with smirks could be called 'friendly banter'.

In Shepard's books, it often was.

What _he_ hadn't approved of was the stipulation that Shepard wasn't allowed to take the _Normandy_ or her crew.

He still didn't know how she'd gotten him to agree to that.

Kaidan activated the terminal and, after quickly glancing around guiltily, he navigated to the news. The latest broadcast had already been cached in the _Normandy's_ data stores, so the load time was null.

It didn't take a genius to figure out which headline had Joker and Vega shooting glances in his direction, giggling like boys who were guilty of mischief and knew they were about to get caught, but couldn't seem to leave the scene of the crime anyway: _Pirate Queen's latest romantic interlude with the first human Spectre: just a kiss or something more?_

Kaidan clicked the link.

-M-

Despite the dirty, cramped interior of the small room she'd been granted for the duration of the seven hour return journey to the Citadel, and therefore Kaidan, Myka Shepard was in extraordinarily good spirits. That was even with all the dirt and grime covering her from the tip of her pinky toes to the very top of her head. Kaidan would point out that the distance wasn't exactly that great, therefore the quantity of dirt and grime couldn't possibly be as bad as she described, and she'd kindly and ever so sweetly smack him upside the head before wrapping her arms around him in a bear hug with the strength of a krogan choke hold.

If he so much as complained about being dirty after that, she'd kindly remind him of her size and therefore limited amount of dirt.

He'd simply say QED and toss her ass into the shower.

She'd make sure his hand didn't let go of hers.

Except to remove clothes. But that didn't count.

Of course, that was all hypothetical because she had to as of yet actually _return_ to him and rub her grimy self all over his meticulously clean and pressed uniform. Something which he wouldn't notice because he was undoubtedly still flummoxed as to how she got him to agree to let her gallivant off the _Normandy _in the first place. Even _she_ didn't know how she'd managed that one. Perhaps she should ask EDI for the surveillance logs to try and recapture what conniving trickery she'd used on him. The Major wasn't easily convinced of many things. The stubborn streak in him never let him, and the fact that she'd managed to circumvent it on an issue as big as this was nothing short of miraculous.

Yeah, she'd definitely have to ask EDI about those logs.

The last two days stood as a testament to the sheer amount of crazy this war was putting her through. Because, even though she'd already admitted it to _him_, she'd never admitted this to Aria: she hated going on mission without him.

It was one of major reasons why working with Cerberus had sucked beyond belief, why Horizon had eaten at her (because every word he said was damned spot on but she couldn't just flit away and go with him no matter how much she wanted to), and why ever since he'd come back aboard and reclaimed his position by her side had felt like her life was finally _whole_ again. She'd only ever admitted that kind of weakness to _him_, because as far as the rest of the galaxy was concerned, she_ had_ no weakness. Even in love.

She was perfectly content to let the rest of the galaxy believe that because he was the only person she wanted to know the truth. And he did.

The last two days also stood as a testament to the wonderful nature of life. Not the least of which was her 'personal escort' Bray who insisted that the crap detail of escorting her back to her home was in fact an honor, despite the fact that two days before, he'd been more than ready to see her fail to live up to the legend. Hell, she'd been prepared to fail, and was continually surprised at how people were continually surprised and awed by her.

She supposed there was something poetic about the war hero of the Skyllian Blitz, the first human Spectre, the savior of the Battle of the Citadel, and the woman who, with the help of twelve trained professionals, had destroyed the Collector's Base leading the efforts of The War against the Reapers. She also supposed it really was a lot to live up to and didn't blame people for doubting her. So long as they didn't do it with their guns.

That tended to not end well. And never in their favor.

Shepard shifted on the small bed, unceremoniously smacking her head against the back of the wall. If she'd known the mission would have taken _that_ long, she'd have brought a change of clothes. Sitting in her own armor for two days and barely sleeping was _not_ her idea of a good time. Even Aria had tossed a few scathing looks at her dirtied outfit, though, in true Aria fashion, she'd taken it in stride and ultimately let it stand as a testament to the hard fought and hard won battle. Myka wanted to be _rid _ of her armor and to take a nice hot and very long shower.

She eyed the detachable pieces of armor at the foot of the bed, one eye cracked open while the other remained steadfastly closed. Fucking hell she was tired. And she definitely didn't want to put her armor back on but figured strutting around a cramped transport vessel with mercs in only her under-armor wasn't the wisest idea. Even if those mercs were Aria's mercs and had just gone through hell with her, taking back an entire fucking station from Cerberus.

With an exaggerated sigh that no one would hear, she heaved herself off the bed, not eager to redress, but eager for what redressing meant.

Within twenty minutes, she was prowling down the hallway towards the bridge, ducking past the crew. Or rather, walking in the open spaces they left in her path as they scattered out of her way. She was halfway towards the bridge when she felt the telltale lurch of a relay transport, flipping her stomach and simultaneously compressing it and stretching it beyond its physical limitations, before reality reasserted itself. All in the span of one footstep.

She found Bray sitting at the helm, mid conversation with Joker. The familiar, dry voice brought a smile to her face, even if she couldn't make out what he was saying through Bray's earpiece. The tone was certainly classic Joker.

He cut the link before she could request to speak to Kaidan. Probably for the best, though she missed hearing his voice terribly, because she didn't need the mercs to hear her wax poetical and whisper sweet nothings to him. After all, she had a reputation as a hardass to maintain, and while fighting with Aria had certainly done her some good on that front, sobbing into the comm that she missed her man might completely destroy whatever respect they'd managed to build for her.

In this war, she needed everything she could get. Even if it meant not getting to be soft and mushy.

The day was coming though when she wouldn't have to. The day when she could say, 'we did it,' then look at him and smile and move on to the next phase of their life. Whatever that may be.

"Looks like your crap detail is almost at an end," she said. The docking bay loomed ahead of the ship. Their small ship had been granted priority clearance simply because she was aboard, and Spectre privileges granted her a great many things, not the list of which was priority docking, decent coffee, and as much extranet bandwidth as her heart desired.

In the middle of the night, she certainly required a lot of that Spectre grade coffee. She used to give her bandwidth to Kaidan, but that was before he became humanity's second Spectre and got his own unlimited access. If she remembered right, this was Joker's week for access to her account.

Anyone monitoring the usage probably thought she was weird as fuck.

Ah well. Priorities.

Bray smirked at her. "'Bout fucking time."

She liked Bray. He was a man who had his priorities straight.

The ship shuddered as the airlock seal connected.

"Take care of yourself, Bray," she clapped him on the shoulder and the batarian grunted.

"Watch yourself out there, Shepard."

Twenty minutes and an incredibly long journey later, she finally found herself in more familiar territory. She definitely regretted turning down ground transport, believing that the distance wouldn't be that great. She didn't even want to think of the number of pictures and vids captured of her looking dirty as hell, calmly walking through the Citadel docks as if it were a perfectly normal and justifiable thing to do.

Well, considering her reputation, people probably weren't too surprised.

Vega's mug greeted her as soon as the _Normandy's_ airlock cycled and the door hissed open. Not exactly the face she'd had in mind. "Hey Lola, how was your trip to Omega?"

She ducked past him, and replied, "Fuckin' dandy."

"Yeah, I bet you and Aria had a lot of catching up to do," Joker's barely suppressed laugh gave away the real meaning behind the words. If she hadn't been so tired and dirty, she might have considered thumping the back of his head.

"Oh sure," she said instead, "In between all the bullets, cerberus mechs from hell, and freaky Reaper mutants, we had a real girl pow-wow."

Vega lightly punched her in the shoulder and she barely suppressed a wince. Even with the armor, she felt the touch on tender, bruised skin. Adjutants were definitely on her list of things to never brawl with, rated over a one-to-five fight versus the krogan. In the krogan's favor. "Girl pow-wow, eh Lola?"

"I believe they are referring to the kiss initiated by Aria which was broadcasted on various media outlets three hours ago. A variety of news sources have picked up the story and integrated it into their programming," EDI helpfully supplied. Or perhaps to put an end to it, sensing Shepard's sincere desire to move past the conversation and get to the damn shower.

It didn't surprise her that Joker knew about the kiss, because he seemed to know a great many things that should have been next to impossible to find out. Though she hadn't been aware that she was being _filmed_ when Aria grabbed her by her shoulders and pressed surprisingly soft, purple lips against hers.

"EDI!" Joker hissed, "Remind me to tell about secrets and proper teasing protocol."

Shepard shook her head and moved towards the galaxy map, nodding at her crew, relieved smile plastered all over her face. She was _home_, and every bone in her body knew it.

Even though she wanted to shower _so bad_ and the elevator was only six feet from the galaxy map, and it'd just be so incredibly easy to pretend her terminal wasn't there because, frankly, she had one in her cabin that was just as easy to use, Myka paused to activate the screen. If there was important news or emails, better to find out now than find out later. Her hot shower wouldn't be as relaxing with her mind mulling over whatever the contents of the hypothetical message were, but she was just too damned responsible to ignore the possibility.

Instead of activating to her main menu, the terminal displayed an article, her face plastered all over the top, pressed right up against Aria's, both of them dirty, the asari's stance victorious, hers surprised, but both of them relieved.

_I'm in trouble_.

She didn't even bother to check her messages. Traynor would inform her if something was _truly_ important and required her attention. Hell, Hackett would probably comm her cabin directly if he really needed to get ahold of her.

Right now, everything could wait. She had a biotic lover to confront.

Confront?

Suck up to was more like it.

Shepard squared her shoulders and marched to the elevator, expression grim. Determined.

When it dropped her outside her quarters, she didn't hesitate to walk in as if she didn't have a care in the world, dark eyes deceiving her bravado as soon as Kaidan sat up from his desk. Her footsteps slowed as she reached the stairs.

"I'm kind of... grimy," she waved at her armor, but Kaidan ignored the statement. He just sat there, looking at her with that infuriatingly patient expression, one eyebrow arched ever so slightly upwards, amber eyes glinting. As if he could wait for a stone to start speaking and be perfectly content for the duration.

"I need to shower?" She hated how he could make her squirm. She needed to figure out how he did that.

He smiled at her.

She shifted her weight from foot to the other, barely resisting the urge to toe her boot on the floor.

"I haven't slept for more than two hours in the past two days?"

He blinked and leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs as he relaxed. Her eyes darted downwards before returning to his face. He smirked at her.

But still said nothing.

"I'm just gonna... remove my armor," she mumbled. Her hands twitched to the straps on her gauntlets, but she didn't actually remove anything.

He continued to just look at her, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips but not quite blossoming into the full thing.

He knew he'd caught her red-handed, as it were.

She slipped a gauntlet off, tossing it near the armor-locker, unwilling to close the distance and put it away properly. She could do that later. Kaidan slid his hand onto his thigh. Her eyes tracked its progress, coming to rest ever so slightly on the inside.

Warmth pooled low in her belly.

De-armoring was something they often did together in the quiet hours after a mission, limbs tired, eyes tired, souls tired, but happy to see each other and hold each other. Tender caresses and sore muscles being relieved of tension. Peeling out of the under-armor, exposing sweaty skin, slick with dirt and salty from the heat.

It was sort of their ritual, typically followed by warm kisses and fervent whispers, grateful they'd made it out alive to see and fight another day. Not always saying 'I love you' but knowing they both meant it, their actions speaking for them when words felt inadequate.

By the time she was fully naked, Kaidan's belt was on the floor, his eyes were hot, and his hands were playing along his thighs, gripping the fabric, sliding upwards but always stopping just short of actually reaching himself.

Then they'd slowly slide away and her eyes would burn trails where the hands _should_ have gone, where her hands wanted to go.

He made a show of not hiding his obvious approval, eyes lingering on her curves. She could feel them trail all over her body, tingling and hot.

He still hadn't said a word.

He did, however, nod his head in the direction of the shower without tearing his gaze from hers.

Myka glanced at the door leading to the private bathroom and sighed, examining the cold metal frame. Shower. Right.

She really was grimy.

That probably wasn't attractive.

Kaidan grunted, ever so quietly. A subtle reminder. Also the first noise he'd made since she entered.

This was definitely torture. He knew it. She knew it. God how she knew that he knew it. With a deep breath to brace herself as if she was marching into unknown territory, Myka squared her shoulders and started walking towards the bathroom.

A small intake of breath made her look back at Kaidan. His bottom lip was captured between his teeth, barely visible, complete with a dark gaze. Hands gripped his knees, knuckles white from the pressure. She'd forgotten how much he liked watching her 'business strut'. Couple that with her distinct lack of clothing...

She could torture him, too. N-training at its best? Yeah. This definitely seemed like a good use of career military SERE training.

The water was hot when she finally got it running. She was sure Kaidan noticed the extended silence before the water clicked on, but she'd just needed to catch her breath because damn. Now she faced another dilemma. Quick shower to get to 'business' or a slow shower because of what the Major had just put her through? Turn the cards so to speak. Normally, she was an impatient woman. In most aspects. Always the one to seek gratification first, to find it first. But then she'd find it again with him because he was worth it.

The door opened behind her.

-M-

Kaidan was absolutely right in his belief that Myka would have a guilty conscience, akin to that of Joker and Vega's in hiding-yet-not-hiding the media broadcast from him, when she returned. And that her guilty conscience would make her squirm and writhe, especially under his silent, desire-filled scrutiny.

Honestly, he wasn't jealous. Nor did he blame her or believe she'd done anything wrong. It was clear Aria had kissed _her_, not the other way around. And it was clear that the kiss was more of gratitude than desire. Heat of the moment. Plus it was _Shepard_, and she was gorgeous in a plain sort of way, all the small details adding up to create a beautiful picture. Hell, after she'd taken down the Reaper on Rannoch, once they were back on the _Normandy_ he'd grabbed her by her waist and done the exact same thing.

So really, he couldn't blame either one of them for what had transpired.

Shepard always came back to him at the end of the day.

And he was the only one who knew her secret: that under the big, tough exterior, she had the biggest and softest fucking heart that melted at the drop of a hat.

So when he approached the proximity sensor of the bathroom door, pants tight, blood hot, and face flushed, he was very much aware that he was toeing the line of what his self control could do for him and was dangerously and wondrously close to losing it all together.

A part of him fervently wished that he would.

Instead, he casually leaned against the frame, keenly aware of the cool air rushing in behind him, causing the parts of her skin not under water to erupt in goosebumps. Years spent reeling in his yellow streak were paying off right now as Myka turned to face him, dark eyes surprised.

He made a show of looking her up and down, doing his best to look more like a drill sergeant inspecting a recruit and failing, but not caring because he knew Myka would know exactly what he was doing and play along anyway. She was wonderful like that.

"Do I pass inspection, Major?" Her voice was throaty and low. The kind she reserved for him and only him.

"Negative, Commander." She arched an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. "Attention!"

She snapped her arms to her sides expertly, facing him. Her small breasts bounced with the quickness and small droplets of water splashed his arms, decorating the front of his uniform.

He examined her once more. "About-face."

A ghost of grin crossed her lips as she performed a perfect about-face. The fact that she spun on bare heels on slippery tile without slipping almost made him groan.

"At ease, soldier."

She rotated to look at him, water streaming through her hair. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Denied."

Her tongue darted out, wetting already wet lips.

He debated the merits of stepping into the shower with her, fully clothed and uncaring, but ultimately decided that whatever little remained of his self control would be shattered the moment her hands touched his skin. Warm and calloused, impatiently seeking all his weak spots and touching them _just so_. He wanted to run his hands over her skin, to caress the bruises forming along her shoulder where she must have hit something hard, to run kisses along her belly and his fingers through her hair.

"Commander," he managed to make it sound like 'Corporal', "I count five missed spots. Military doesn't accept that kind of oversight, on or off the field."

Myka promptly retrieved the soap and began lathering her body, her eyes never leaving his. She drew the bar along her chest, swirled it around her side and turned around for his viewing pleasure, trailing the soap up her spine, deftly switching hands as needed. His fingers twitched towards her and his knees wobbled, one foot scooting forward involuntarily.

Fortunately she didn't notice his momentary lack of inhibition.

When she was done, she simply dropped her hands to her sides, bar of soap cradled between fingers, and slowly rotated, an impish smile on her face. _Did I miss a spot this time?_

"Soap's good. Next." He couldn't quite keep the huskiness out of his voice. Nor did he want to.

She returned the soap to the tray, deftly catching it as it nearly slid off the ledge in a futile attempt at freedom.

His self control was quickly waning, previously voiced reasons fading into the background.

Myka winced as she brought her hand up to her hair, attempting to massage the shampoo on her scalp. The wince was carefully hidden, probably wouldn't have been noticed by anyone else. Anyone who didn't know what to look for. The slight thinning of her lips as she drew them into a line, biting back a hiss of pain others might have released. A tightness to the edges of her eyes that spoke of blocking out the pain as she carried on with the task at hand.

Before he knew what he was doing, he slid away from the door, hearing it close behind him but not really aware of it as he captured her hands in his and dropped a kiss on her bruised shoulder before gently turning her away from him while he stepped into the water, uncaring that he was still clothed and the water had already begun to pool in his boots. She didn't have to be tough for him. After everything they'd been through together, he couldn't imagine one thing that would tear them apart.

She leaned against him, and he hugged her close, fingers threading through her hair as he gently worked the shampoo between his fingers, taking his time. Her hair curled in the water, clinging to his clothes and hands, running down his arms.

Once her hair was thoroughly lathered, he gently pulled her backwards until the water ran over both of them, sliding down her hair and rinsing the bubbles away. He ran his fingers throughout the strands, gently pulling curls temporarily straight, carefully to not pull too hard lest he find a fist in his face.

He didn't stop threading his fingers through her hair once the shampoo was gone, couldn't stop himself from trailing fingers down her arms and over her breasts, from seeking out her belly and pressing fingers into the taut flesh. His pants grew impossibly tighter, military slacks not really cut out for this sort of thing, not designed to be stress-tested against Kaidan Alenko's self control.

Small hands grabbed the straps on his pants for support, pulling him into her, pressing himself right between her hips in a way that made him groan into her hair, pressing a cheek against her ear. He guided his hands to her hips, sliding fingers inwards until he reached the precipice, feeling her shudder against him in anticipation. He grazed a finger over her before pulling away. She moaned in frustration and rolled her hips against him.

Next thing he knew, he had her pressed up against the shower wall, blocking her in with his arms on either side of her, her hands fumbling at his shirt, trying to rip the wet fabric away from his pants so she could slide warm fingers onto his skin.

Myka murmured, a coy smile tugging at the corner of her lips, "I'm having second thoughts now. Aria's a _really_ good kisser."

Her hands snaked up his back and he pressed his cheek against hers, whispering in her ear, "Oh really?"

She shivered. "Mmmm, thousand years of practice."

"That so?" He pulled slightly away from her, giving him just enough space to trail a finger roughly down her navel, then further below until he couldn't go lower. Her breath whispered along his lips as he spoke, "Does she know you like this?"

He had a moment to register the surprise that flashed in her eyes before his lips met hers, parting urgently as she whimpered into the back of his throat. Her tongue danced between his teeth, needily seeking his, fingers digging into his skin as she clutched against him.

When he reluctantly pulled away, she breathed heavily against him, forehead pressed against his. "No…" she admitted, "But she did do this thing with her-"

Kaidan growled as he lifted her, amber eyes flashing as he crushed her mouth with his, completely and utterly shattering whatever remained of his inhibitions and ideas to prolong the torture as long as possible. All he could think about was his lips on hers, his tongue colliding with hers, the way her hands were currently trapped because of the speed with which he'd grabbed her and how his arms were holding her. He couldn't remember his lips leaving hers, but they must have because his shirt managed to hit the floor with record speed, followed not long after by the rest of his clothes and Myka was pressed against the wall again.

This time he purposefully stopped the kiss, ignoring Shepard's growl, and nuzzled his face into the soft spot of her neck, trailing kisses upwards until he found her ear. She rose further up as he bit down and he used the leverage to wrap her legs around his waist.

His world exploded in pleasure and fire a thousand other things when she rolled onto him, his knees almost buckling as what they'd both wanted for so long, been deprived of and used to torture each other, was _finally_ here. Multitudes of sensations flooded through him as he moved within her, fiercely holding her against the wall. The water hitting his back should have been a distraction but hours of anticipation and hot desire focused his attention on her and only her, dark eyes screwed shut as she rode him, knees pinching against his hips, hands pressing and pulling on his shoulders to give her a delicious range of motion that set him over the edge.

Both were impatient, seeking release in each other, unable to slow themselves down in response to the growing pressure. He could feel the vibration of his growling against her skin and her responding frenzied whimpers of heightened pleasure, nearing climax and desperately seeking it. He carried her all the way to the precipice, hands roving over her skin, biotics flaring, cupping her bottom tightly against him when her head snapped backwards, still moving on him even though the sensations were overwhelming, dragging him along with her, unwilling to dive off the edge without him.

God, she was amazing.

He collapsed against her, barely able to stand and using the wall for support. Shaky breath danced across his lips as he rested his forehead against hers. Kaidan stared deep into her eyes, letting them speak for him, telling her how much he loved her because he didn't trust himself to speak.

She pressed a tender kiss against his lips, soft and slow, letting that speak for her because maybe she didn't trust herself to speak either.

This was true bliss, true happiness. Melting into someone's arms, letting them see the whole mural of your soul. Good colors and bad. Trusting them to care for it even if you were a little afraid they might not like it, or were embarrassed or ashamed about some parts of the designs. Seeking true acceptance, giving it in return. Two murals melding together to form one beautiful painting that somehow seemed more whole than the two pieces apart.

-M-

Kaidan Alenko didn't have many weaknesses, many things that could slip past his self control and shatter it into a thousand pieces. He'd been told repeatedly throughout his childhood that he needed to reign himself in. After BAaT, he'd spent years believing he _had_ to reign himself in, that he was something that needed to be controlled, to never let loose.

It boiled down to trust, Myka thought. Or a lack of trust. He'd confessed to her that she was the first person to trust him, unconditionally. The first person that saw the person and not the biotic. His entire life he'd been judged as the latter first, the former last.

He'd laughed when she told him that the first thing she saw was a gorgeous as fuck Staff-Lieutenant who she _knew_ would be problematic. Sincere amber eyes that settled on her face and made her heart skip a beat.

He thought she was lying, or over-embellishing.

Really though, she was lying. Just not in the way he thought.

First time she saw him, she knew if they served together long she'd be having all sorts of naughty thoughts and desires that would be hard to keep in check. Within thirty seconds of shaking his hand, she was already checking out his ass, wondering what it'd be like to run fingers over the fine contours.

She supposed she hadn't really been paying attention to a lot else during the first thirty minutes around Kaidan Alenko. And the best part was that he hadn't seemed to notice. She didn't know it then, but he was surprisingly oblivious to just how good-looking he was, unaware that not five feet from him his XO was fawning over his puppy eyes and inwardly fanning herself at the huskiness of his voice.

According to him, she'd just stood there all stoic, living up to everyone ounce of her reputation of a hardass fairly quiet war hero. Her 'fawning eyes' had been mistaken for intense scrutiny. He'd been taken aback at her first question: what's your range. Not 'what can you do with the blue stuff?' and not 'so you're an L2?'. What's your range?

That's when she'd discovered that he had a tendency to stammer when he was caught off guard. And that she loved it.

So with all that in mind, the fact that he counted her as his weakness, the one person able to break him completely, meant the world to her.

She cupped his cheek, tightly holding his face, eyes closed and sighed contentedly. A sigh that originated from the deep recesses of her soul, a sigh that only he would ever hear because he was the only personal capable of making her feel this way, capable of diving into the vast oceans of her heart and coming out with her in his hand.

Myka hitched herself up in his arms, wrapping hers around his neck and pulling him close and he buried his face in her hair, one hand pressed against the back of her neck. He held her so tight it hurt to breathe, but she didn't care because in his arms she felt safe and loved and a myriad of other emotions that threatened to spill over the confines of her broken soul.

He kissed her bruised shoulder again after finally releasing her, letting her slide down and touch feet to floor, gently caressing her arm with one hand as he turned off the water with the other. "How?"

His eyes flicked upwards in that endearing way that melted her heart and turned her knees to butter.

"Adjutant knocked me on my ass as I was de-arming a bomb."

He frowned at the bruise. It simultaneously broke her heart and healed it.

Small hands reached out for his, and she guided him out of the bathroom and down the stairs, towards the bed. Staring into his eyes the whole time because he was beautiful. She pulled him onto the bed and kissed him softly before crawling onto his lap and lowering herself onto him. He breathed deeply at the contact and closed his eyes, waves of blue rippling over his skin as she set a slow tempo, meeting his every movement with a gentle sway, savoring the feel of him. Warm, strong hands grazed up her spine, slid to her hips and grasped her thighs.

God, she loved him.

Even as she felt the desire within her heightening, the climax building, she maintained the steady pace, pressing her cheek against his as he whispered softly in her ear. Kaidan wrapped an arm around her and, without breaking tempo, gently lowered her onto her back, the one arm still behind her holding her close. Face still buried in her neck, cheeks still pressed together, his stubble grazing her skin, tingling.

Being with him made her feel complete in a way nothing else could. It wasn't just about making love to him, she opened up her soul and let him see the landscape, twisted trees and beautiful sculptures alike. It was about being vulnerable and succumbing to another person completely and wholeheartedly, about leaving yourself bare and open. It was not unlike staring down the rifle of a gun, except she knew Kaidan would never take the shot, could never take the shot.

She trusted him holding it anyway.

Her eyes screwed shut as she neared climax, but Kaidan maintained the tempo she'd set earlier even though the whispering of her name was more fervent and his breath came out ragged. The tempo was good because it was them, slow and steady, soft and caring, _constant_.

When they finally came together, she wrapped her arms around him tight as he collapsed on top of her, both of them having forgotten how to hold themselves up in the afterglow. She lost track of time as they lay there together, slowly coming down, just looking at each other, soft smiles and occasional kisses.

"I'm glad you're home," he murmured, trailing his hand down her side, looking up at her. "I missed you."

She ran her fingers through his hair, sighing contentedly, happily. "I'll always come home."


End file.
